So Far, The Boys Have Passed With Flying Carpets, And Some Lando

Before we start, please be sure to click on the different coloured words to go see the hilarious links, because I just pee'd my pants, so you should all pee yours too, or as I like to say, do the Miles Davis.

How freaking exciting are the Toronto Blue Jays right now? If you answered more exciting than a double rainbow , you'd be absolutely correct! Now, first off,  nobody loves to say afuckingtotaso  more than I do, so in regards to JP Arencibia, afuckingtotaso.

Now everyone seemed to have given up on this kid after his less than stellar performance last year, which we can now obviously say was due to a battle with an astigmatism, that contacts, and glasses couldn't correct. So a nice little corrective surgery, and BOOM! 31 homeruns in AAA Vegas, BOOM! Two homeruns in his big league debut, along with a single and a double. Then BOOM, pie in the face, BOOM! Gatorade shower, BOOM! Water cooler shower, then BOOM! another pie in the face for good measure.

Talk about having fun! Every time I see things like this, all I can say is "look the fack out!" People take these displays one of two ways. It's either "They don't take the game seriously enough! All they do is fool around! Juveniles!" or you get this ol thang "They are too young to know about pressure, they're loose, they're having fun, they're like kids out there, playing the game the way it's ment to be played! "

This is a very young team that has bonded to become quite possibly the most exciting team to watch, in all of baseball. Even when they lose, it's tough to turn away!

Then along comes Brandon Morrow. The very next day, 17 strike outs, eight and two thirds of no hit ball, and if it wasn't for Arron Hill who missed a play he make 8 times out of 10, we could have had our SIXTH no hitter of the year. That was one of the most amazingly incredible pitching displays I have ever listened to. (I say listened, because I was passed out on my couch after a night of greasy Venning staggy-ness. I started my morning off by puking in a sink, soooooo, yeah.) For a quick funny recap of the game, click the word ZAZZ!

People that say the Jays are brutal, and are never going to win anything drive me crazy, like my gurl Britney Spears after she shaved her head.......... remember, with the umbrella, smashing cars and shit, (Not to be confused with my favorite Britney.....the vagina showing Britney, I bet I have probably shown my Britney by accident to one or two people over the years...... would that be called a Man Britney, or maybe a Mittney? No, Mittney would still work with the female more than male.......I am getting confused again!!) Where was I........ oh yea, people like my dad who say "The Jays suck and they arn't going anywhere!" That shit pisses me off.

Listen here DAAAAAAAD. They Jays don't suck, and while we're at it, I'm not cutting my hair, I like weeds on my lawn, they add character, and Ellinore (my puppy) is freaking beautiful and she will not ruin my house.

Whenever something really bothers me, so much so, that I think I am going to lose it I like to take a deep breath, and see how my argument would hold up in a court room. So, let's take a trip to the center of my ginormous brain, and see what this trial would look like.

*** Cue Wayne's World Dream Sequence ***


"Welcome to Sports Court bitches, I 'm Judge Lando Calrissian." (I guess my brain thinks Billy Dee Williams would be a great judge! He ran Cloud City pretty well, except for the whole double crossing deal, but he made up for that, and he did save the city. )

"We will now look at the case of the Blue Jay bashing haters, versus a guy that I would definitly hang out with, because he is definitely as cool as me, Gary."

"Alright haters, please present your case baby."

"Well the Blue Jays suck! They have since 1993, and will continue to suck, because that's what they do, they just suck big time, super brutal, I hate em.

Judge Lando - "Well......... that was interesting..... ok Gary, you look really good today by the way, be sure to call me after the trial so we can go to the Mos Eisley Cantina for a Colt 45 and sweet alien trim. Defend your Blue Jays."

"Thank you your Highness. So now that the young guys are coming together, I think it is safe to say that GM Alex Anthopoulos has this team on the up and up, big time! If you don't believe me, I give you some examples:

A - The Brendan Morrow Trade - Morrow is turning in to a top of the rotation starter, and all AA gave up was reliever Brandon League, and a minor league catcher. Seriously, awesome.

B - Fred Lewis - For a player to be named later..... awesomer! Can you believe that Lando?!

C- Yunel Escobar - For an old shortstop, that was not going to be here next year, gotta love that.

D - Minor League Depth - The Jays have a shit load of talent in the Minors, including Kyle Drabek, Chad Jenkins, and Zach Stewart who are all expected to compete for starting jobs in the near future, as well as Adeiny Hechavarria, and Anthony Gose.

Judge Lando - "Well Gary, way to show those haters wrong, I am very proud of you, not only do you win this trial, but you also won the right to call me a big fan of yours. But keep your dirty hands off the Millenium Falcon, I lost her once, not gonna let that shit go down again, ya digg? (Apparently my brain is permanently set to the time frame of just after Han got frozen in carbonite, and Lando got his sweet whip back."

So there you go, that's what it's like inside my brain all the time. I know, pretty sweet eh? Go Jays.



Just a totally random thought of the week for you:

Do you know what really blew my mind out of that crazy Morrow game? No one made the comment of how Dewayne Wise came in for Vernon Wells after he made that huge catch and dislocated his toe. Remember the last time Dewayne Wise came in to a game late, to play center field? Mark Buerle's no hitter? Remember the catch he made? I was waiting, and waiting and waiting for someone to comment on that, but no one ever did! That really seems like something that all the sports networks would be overplaying the crap out of.



White Sunglass Douchy-ness of the week goes to: Loggy!

Finally, some crazy Parkour action that I saw on Jimmy Traina's Hot Clicks Blog.

Then that reminded me of this hil-ar-i-us-ness.

Want to join the blog party? Head on over to blog party central, it's good times, as far as blog parties go.

Ring it up Codeboner!