Rocking The Blog World.............Hard As Fack
Monday, November 29, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
I'm In Miami Bitch!
I'm in Miami Bitch, or should I say, I was in Miami, and let me tell you, it was really something else! Me and Count Cockula (from Kyle and Gary's Super Awesome Podcast fame), along with my Lawyer and Commissioner of the DAFFL, and three other very good friends, decided it was time to go to a Dolphins game. (Click the boys for the song!)
Now the last time I went on a football trip was a couple of years ago, and I did a timeline of the trip, ( you can check that out here , and here ) and talked about all the fun stuff that happened, so let's see if we can't do that again!
So now, for your reading pleasure, or, in the case of most people who read this blog, to help you waste some time at work, I give to you "Gary's Drunken Recollection Of His Miami Trip..........Which May Or May Not Be Totally True!?".
Thursday Nov 11
6 am - Shawn and his beautiful wife Ash pick me up, I'm possibly still drunk from the previous night, flight leaves at 8, sooooo tired.
8 am - On the plane, thank goodness I brought these two game boys. Right now, playing Zelda, A Link to the Past for the Game Boy Advance, I know, Awesome.
9 am - Game change, time for some Contra on OG, aka the Original Game boy.
9:45 am - Count Cockula demands some Contra action, and if I have ever learned anything in lfe, I have learned when the Count demands something, you give it up, or else he'll try to teach you how to count, with his little count, guess it's back to the land of Hyrule.
11:00 am - Moment of Silence for the Troops, thank you for all that you have done, and continue to do.
5 ish pm Miami Time - I forgot where we stopped for a connecting flight on the way, Chicago..... maybe...... either way, I can tell you that I almost beat that dick Ganon in Zelda, he is freaking tough man....... oh yeah, I'm in Miami Bitch! Arya and I immediately head straight to the closest bar in the airport, two shots, and two Coronas..... here we go.
5:45 ish pm- "Hey, that guy looks famous!" Someone says as we walk towards the taxi stand. There's a sign that says Willie Parker........ Whisky Tango Foxtrot, "Willie Parker!!! Sweet" No one talks to him, he doesn't even have a team right now..... so who really cares........ but still, celeb sighting!!! If I was a girl, I would have totally seduced the shit out of him.
6 ish pm - Get in a van, with some gals from Dallas, and a gal from Pittsburgh. They say "Where ya'll from?" I proudly say "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada!" They say "What??" Then I tell them about my Igloo and pet Polar Bear named Count Cockula. Very nice. Silly Americans, but seriously, super hot.
7 ish pm - Arrive at our hotel, and wow, no tables or chairs in the room, just two beds for me and the Count, and a bathroom that smells like some real dirty sex acts just went on in their prior to our arrival........ We're going to need some booze.
8 ish pm - Off to Finnegan's to watch the Heat - Celtics game, and to watch the Ravens lose me money.... thanks to Pistol Pete and his not so lucrative picks..... Hey look, it's the Iceman Chuck Lidell!! He looks really sore, still neat to see, once again, no one says anything, he looked like he was in a hurry, and I know I'm drunk, but was he wearing a fanny pack?? Better ask El Dandy.
11ish pm - Hard liquor is needed, store closes at 11, me and the Count have to hurry!
11:07 ish pm - We arrive at the I Heart Liquor store, and proceed to buy two 66's, one of Pomegranate Vodka, and one of Brugal Rum.......... 60 dollars.......... nice, turns out the store is open until midnight..... take note Canada!
Friday the 12th
12 am ish - Everyone is passed out, the Count looks at me, and doesn't need to say a word, off to the Ballet for some local entertainment.
1:30 ish am - Madonna's........ NICE!!
2 ish am - Very Talented, I never knew being called Papi could be so neat!
3 am - Me and The Count Fall asleep while listening to Kyle and Gary's Super Awesome Podcast, those guys are hilarious.
9 am - Wake up time, Pomegranate Vodka and Gatorade, breakfast of champions.
2 pm ish - Off to the beach! I wonder what feeling sober feels like.......... HOLY CRAP!!! Look at that, that girls got no top on.......... WOW. This is the best beach ever..... Let's play some football.
3 pm - I hear the Count's snap count "One...... Topless Girl..... AH AH AH..... Two..... Topless Girl....... AH AH AH........ HUT!"
5 pm - Football was a bad idea..........I think I might pu...... BOOBS!! NAKED BOOBS!!!!
7 pm - Supper time, Mojitos and Miller Lights and hot girls, oh my!
11 pm - I feel like I've been here before........... there's something about this place that looks familiar......... oh yeah, were back at Madonna's again, the best night club in town, everyone is sooooo friendly.
Just like last time, this blog got too long already, so we are going to have to split it into two parts again. What is going to happen?
Will the boys make it to the Heat - Raptors game, or even better, make it home?
Will they end up back at the beach where an injury almost ruined a great time?
Will they get on the Jumbo Tron at the Dolphins game, while doing the Wisniewski?
Check in next week to find out.
Want to join the fan page? No? Ok...... well if you change your mind, click on the sexy piece of man meat right over there!
Coming up on Kyle and Gary's Super Awesome Podcast this weekend:
SUPER AWESOME SHOW NUMBER 7
- We unveil the NEW THEME SONG, produced and recorded in Toronto by The Abyss and Gigs
- Mike Vick talk, best in the league....... I think so
- Listener Email, Listener Email!!!!!!
- Should Kobe Bryant be fined or suspended for being in the new COD commercials?
- NHL talk
All that plus SOOOOOOOOOO much more, you would be crazy not to check it out.
On that note, have a great weekend....... Trojan Horse, Take Me Home!!!
Now the last time I went on a football trip was a couple of years ago, and I did a timeline of the trip, ( you can check that out here , and here ) and talked about all the fun stuff that happened, so let's see if we can't do that again!
So now, for your reading pleasure, or, in the case of most people who read this blog, to help you waste some time at work, I give to you "Gary's Drunken Recollection Of His Miami Trip..........Which May Or May Not Be Totally True!?".
Thursday Nov 11
6 am - Shawn and his beautiful wife Ash pick me up, I'm possibly still drunk from the previous night, flight leaves at 8, sooooo tired.
8 am - On the plane, thank goodness I brought these two game boys. Right now, playing Zelda, A Link to the Past for the Game Boy Advance, I know, Awesome.
9 am - Game change, time for some Contra on OG, aka the Original Game boy.
9:45 am - Count Cockula demands some Contra action, and if I have ever learned anything in lfe, I have learned when the Count demands something, you give it up, or else he'll try to teach you how to count, with his little count, guess it's back to the land of Hyrule.
11:00 am - Moment of Silence for the Troops, thank you for all that you have done, and continue to do.
5 ish pm Miami Time - I forgot where we stopped for a connecting flight on the way, Chicago..... maybe...... either way, I can tell you that I almost beat that dick Ganon in Zelda, he is freaking tough man....... oh yeah, I'm in Miami Bitch! Arya and I immediately head straight to the closest bar in the airport, two shots, and two Coronas..... here we go.
5:45 ish pm- "Hey, that guy looks famous!" Someone says as we walk towards the taxi stand. There's a sign that says Willie Parker........ Whisky Tango Foxtrot, "Willie Parker!!! Sweet" No one talks to him, he doesn't even have a team right now..... so who really cares........ but still, celeb sighting!!! If I was a girl, I would have totally seduced the shit out of him.
6 ish pm - Get in a van, with some gals from Dallas, and a gal from Pittsburgh. They say "Where ya'll from?" I proudly say "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada!" They say "What??" Then I tell them about my Igloo and pet Polar Bear named Count Cockula. Very nice. Silly Americans, but seriously, super hot.
7 ish pm - Arrive at our hotel, and wow, no tables or chairs in the room, just two beds for me and the Count, and a bathroom that smells like some real dirty sex acts just went on in their prior to our arrival........ We're going to need some booze.
8 ish pm - Off to Finnegan's to watch the Heat - Celtics game, and to watch the Ravens lose me money.... thanks to Pistol Pete and his not so lucrative picks..... Hey look, it's the Iceman Chuck Lidell!! He looks really sore, still neat to see, once again, no one says anything, he looked like he was in a hurry, and I know I'm drunk, but was he wearing a fanny pack?? Better ask El Dandy.
 |
| Yep, that's the Iceman working out naked. I was looking for a funny picture of him, and once I saw this, I had to use it right? |
11:07 ish pm - We arrive at the I Heart Liquor store, and proceed to buy two 66's, one of Pomegranate Vodka, and one of Brugal Rum.......... 60 dollars.......... nice, turns out the store is open until midnight..... take note Canada!
Friday the 12th
12 am ish - Everyone is passed out, the Count looks at me, and doesn't need to say a word, off to the Ballet for some local entertainment.
1:30 ish am - Madonna's........ NICE!!
2 ish am - Very Talented, I never knew being called Papi could be so neat!
3 am - Me and The Count Fall asleep while listening to Kyle and Gary's Super Awesome Podcast, those guys are hilarious.
9 am - Wake up time, Pomegranate Vodka and Gatorade, breakfast of champions.
2 pm ish - Off to the beach! I wonder what feeling sober feels like.......... HOLY CRAP!!! Look at that, that girls got no top on.......... WOW. This is the best beach ever..... Let's play some football.
3 pm - I hear the Count's snap count "One...... Topless Girl..... AH AH AH..... Two..... Topless Girl....... AH AH AH........ HUT!"
 |
| Count Cockula at the line of scrimmage! |
7 pm - Supper time, Mojitos and Miller Lights and hot girls, oh my!
11 pm - I feel like I've been here before........... there's something about this place that looks familiar......... oh yeah, were back at Madonna's again, the best night club in town, everyone is sooooo friendly.
Just like last time, this blog got too long already, so we are going to have to split it into two parts again. What is going to happen?
Will the boys make it to the Heat - Raptors game, or even better, make it home?
Will they end up back at the beach where an injury almost ruined a great time?
Will they get on the Jumbo Tron at the Dolphins game, while doing the Wisniewski?
Check in next week to find out.
Want to join the fan page? No? Ok...... well if you change your mind, click on the sexy piece of man meat right over there!
Coming up on Kyle and Gary's Super Awesome Podcast this weekend:
SUPER AWESOME SHOW NUMBER 7
- We unveil the NEW THEME SONG, produced and recorded in Toronto by The Abyss and Gigs
- Mike Vick talk, best in the league....... I think so
- Listener Email, Listener Email!!!!!!
- Should Kobe Bryant be fined or suspended for being in the new COD commercials?
- NHL talk
All that plus SOOOOOOOOOO much more, you would be crazy not to check it out.
On that note, have a great weekend....... Trojan Horse, Take Me Home!!!
Monday, November 8, 2010
Thank You Sports World, For Teaching Me How To Dougie
I was at Josh and The Refridgeration's house on Saturday, and the WHOLE HOUSE was Dougie-ing all night long, some were better than others, but a great time was had by all. In my Russian Prince induced stupor, I wondered to myself "Man, Allie looks real good while she Dougie's....... Damn! Thank you John Wall!!!" Then I thought "I have to write about this, so everyone can experience this moment!"
So for those of you not in the know, first overall pick in the NBA Draft this year, John Wall played his first home game the other night, and during his intro, he did the sweetest Dougie I have ever seen. (If you don't know what The Dougie is, first off, shame on you! Secondly, it's a dance.) So J-WOW busts this out, then goes out and scores 29, along with 13 dimes, and 9 steals...... aka a hell of a game. (Click Wall for the video!)
I got wondering, since I am usually onto these sports phenomenons before they hit the main stream, (I was doing the Soldia Boy before Soldia Boy bitch! ) where exactly did all this start? So I did a little Internet research, and here is what I found.
Turns out, a hip hop crew named the Cali Swag District wrote a song about the dance, much like the Soldia Boy, you can click the picture for the video.
Then I found out, it was all thanks to Uncle Phil, having sex, back in the day, big time! Isn't that wild? Hit Carleton for the video evidence.
Now that we know where it came from, let's get to the reason we are all here today!
People have been shouting from their high chairs, lambasting this kid for showboating, some even going as far as to say Wall will never win an NBA title, because he danced before a game. This is some of the stupidest shit (sorry mom!) I have ever heard.
If you know me at all, you know I love show boaters, entertainers, guys like T.O., Ocho, Moss (Love the Tennessee signing by the way), guys that go out and do what they want, and have fun while doing it. So it should come as no surprise to any of you that I love this kid.
So people who don't like athletes having fun, I have made a special list, just for you, I call it "Gary's List Of Athletes Having Fun, Stop Being Up Tight Dick Heads And Enjoy This Shit (sorry mom), That's What They Are Doing!! Cheesus Crust, This Is A Good List Name!" Basically, guys doing the dougie baby!
***** Click on the pictures for the dance video*****
My Boy Braylon Edwards
He got a flag for over excessive celebrating, but well worth it if you ask me.
Lil' Nate Robinson
This is just awesome, gotta love guys having fun!
Demarcus Cousins
This one was sweet, because he wwaas doing it with my boy Wall. Can you say Double Dougie??
Reggie Bush
I love Reggie, and I still don't know how he could have let my gurl KK go, don't they look cute together? His dance is pretty tight too!
Dez Bryant
Here's the Dallas Cowboy, showing you all how to Dougie!
So there you have it, just a bunch of athletes, having fun, while playing sports, nothing more awesome than that, except maybe...............
Kyle And Gary's Super Awesome Podcast was hilarious this week:
http://kyleandgary.podbean.com/
Here's what we covered:
- We have Listener email!!! Tim Tebow's poop made the news, Ashton and Demi Moore got The University of Iowa in trouble, The CFL prooves it's Bush League...... Again,
- The CFL is a joke, World of Warcraft's Red Shirt guy is back, so is the McRib, Randy Moss is on the moveand a pro rugby player had hot oral sex with a dog..........gross, I know.
- Jerry Rice the greatest NFL player of all time? Woman utters line never before heard in a police report, Madden Ratings make fun of Donny McNabb, and Beer faces off against vaginas.
So check it out, I promise at least one laugh, or half a chuckle.
Want to join the face book party page? Click the pondering face!
I am off to Miami next week, so look for a full report of the trip on this blog when I get back. In the mean time...... Ride Trojan Horse, RIDE!!!!!!!
So for those of you not in the know, first overall pick in the NBA Draft this year, John Wall played his first home game the other night, and during his intro, he did the sweetest Dougie I have ever seen. (If you don't know what The Dougie is, first off, shame on you! Secondly, it's a dance.) So J-WOW busts this out, then goes out and scores 29, along with 13 dimes, and 9 steals...... aka a hell of a game. (Click Wall for the video!)
I got wondering, since I am usually onto these sports phenomenons before they hit the main stream, (I was doing the Soldia Boy before Soldia Boy bitch! ) where exactly did all this start? So I did a little Internet research, and here is what I found.
Turns out, a hip hop crew named the Cali Swag District wrote a song about the dance, much like the Soldia Boy, you can click the picture for the video.
Then I found out, it was all thanks to Uncle Phil, having sex, back in the day, big time! Isn't that wild? Hit Carleton for the video evidence.
Now that we know where it came from, let's get to the reason we are all here today!
People have been shouting from their high chairs, lambasting this kid for showboating, some even going as far as to say Wall will never win an NBA title, because he danced before a game. This is some of the stupidest shit (sorry mom!) I have ever heard.
If you know me at all, you know I love show boaters, entertainers, guys like T.O., Ocho, Moss (Love the Tennessee signing by the way), guys that go out and do what they want, and have fun while doing it. So it should come as no surprise to any of you that I love this kid.
So people who don't like athletes having fun, I have made a special list, just for you, I call it "Gary's List Of Athletes Having Fun, Stop Being Up Tight Dick Heads And Enjoy This Shit (sorry mom), That's What They Are Doing!! Cheesus Crust, This Is A Good List Name!" Basically, guys doing the dougie baby!
***** Click on the pictures for the dance video*****
My Boy Braylon Edwards
He got a flag for over excessive celebrating, but well worth it if you ask me.
Lil' Nate Robinson
This is just awesome, gotta love guys having fun!
Demarcus Cousins
This one was sweet, because he wwaas doing it with my boy Wall. Can you say Double Dougie??
Reggie Bush
I love Reggie, and I still don't know how he could have let my gurl KK go, don't they look cute together? His dance is pretty tight too!
Dez Bryant
Here's the Dallas Cowboy, showing you all how to Dougie!
So there you have it, just a bunch of athletes, having fun, while playing sports, nothing more awesome than that, except maybe...............
Kyle And Gary's Super Awesome Podcast was hilarious this week:
http://kyleandgary.podbean.com/
Here's what we covered:
- We have Listener email!!! Tim Tebow's poop made the news, Ashton and Demi Moore got The University of Iowa in trouble, The CFL prooves it's Bush League...... Again,
- The CFL is a joke, World of Warcraft's Red Shirt guy is back, so is the McRib, Randy Moss is on the moveand a pro rugby player had hot oral sex with a dog..........gross, I know.
- Jerry Rice the greatest NFL player of all time? Woman utters line never before heard in a police report, Madden Ratings make fun of Donny McNabb, and Beer faces off against vaginas.
So check it out, I promise at least one laugh, or half a chuckle.
Want to join the face book party page? Click the pondering face!
I am off to Miami next week, so look for a full report of the trip on this blog when I get back. In the mean time...... Ride Trojan Horse, RIDE!!!!!!!
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