What The F*ck Is Juice??? Give Me That Grape Drink Baby!!

So one thing that I have really been wanting to talk about since Rawlco decided I was to racey for News Talk, was former Raider's quarterback Jamarcus Russell getting busted with Purple Drank. (Click the pic for the full info.)

First off, what the hell is Purple Drank? I asked a bunch of my friends (ok, random people, they told me to frig off!), and no one knew. There were alot of people who thought I was talking about this stuff.

My curiosity grew, and then I started to put the pieces together. Let me take you back to the first time I had heard of the sizzurp.

The radio station I work at has a shit load of CD's that get sent in every day, and they usually just end up lying around the station. For example, there is a Saharaha cd (I have no clue who the fack they are either!) in the kitchen right now, the nerd herd has a Toronto cd in their office, that has been in there for the last year and my boy Tim Stone has Gold Frapp's album Head First in his office. Point being, there are wierd, totally random cd's all over the place here.

So imagine my delight one fine afternoon, while feeling quite thuggy, when I went into the kitchen to make some Green Tea, (my body needs a lot of antioxidizing!) and I found a Three 6 Mafia CD, The Most Known Unkowns.

"This is awesome! I can totally get my thug on with this shit!" I said, as I popped my collar, which I have been doing ever since I can remember!  (Not really, I hate popped collars, and the losers that do it, not to mention guys with white sunglasses, stop being such douches!)

Anyways, I took that shit home, and played the hell out of it. One song on there was called Swervin.

After I heard it, I was wondering what the hell purple stuff was? These guys have no problems rapping about coke and weed and all that jazz, so I just assumed it was some sort of crazy drug, and i guess, in a way, I was right.

Getting back on track, I have many questions that I have been searching for answers to over my lifetime, but the mystery of the Purple Drank, thanks to my boy Jamarcus Russell, was finally solved.

After J-Russ got busted, a bunch of articles came out about how he was busted with Codeine Cough Syrup (which is a banned substance in the NFL's eyes), so I thought "What on earth is Jamarcus doing with all that cough syrup, he must get sick lots!"  Then the articles went on to talk about what the cough syrup was used for.

Now kids, I do not condone trying this stuff, nor do I intend to promote it, but I am starting to realize there are a lot of you who are probably going to say "Damn man, just tell me how to make that shit so I can be like all my music and athletic idols!! " Don't do it, this shit is bad for you!!!!

Ok, with that out of the way,  basically it's Codeine Cough Syrup, mixed with Jolly Ranchers and Sprite.

Once I found out what all the fuss was about, I noticed it popping up all over the hip hop music scene, like here:


Gorilla Zoe

And here:

Frayser boy

Here:

Indo G

Can't forget my boys!:

Three 6 Mafia

I love the Megadeath Shirt, facking bricks!

So ususally,  I like to wrap up these things with a nice little life lesson, or a moral of the story type line, to make me look smart and witty, but I really don't have much here. I guess it's sad that a guy's career has to go down the tubes, due to cough syrup, for me to finally answer a question, that was eating me worse than Gilbert Grape. (Get it??? Grape??)

No............... OK, cue Hedo Rick!!!

He reminds me a lot of my buddy the Paikster.

Want to join the greasy old blog party?

See you all next week!